


Tales of the White Rose

by MrZissman



Category: RWBY
Genre: Awkward Romance, Cute, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Girls Kissing, Girls Like Girls Ficathon, Ice Flower, No Lesbians Die, RWBY Relationship Week, Romance, True Love, White Rose Week, White Rose Week 2018
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-18 09:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16115600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrZissman/pseuds/MrZissman
Summary: A series of self-contained one-shots that focus exclusively on the true RWBY OTP, Ruby and Weiss aka White Rose . Each story is non-canonical, self-contained and solely exists as it's own 'universe', so to speak. You'll get tales of love, laughter, loss, sadness, anger. Everything that makes a relationship so exhilarating.





	1. 50 Shades of Schnee

Blake Belladonna had no idea what she was listening to. True, she was overly familiar with mechanical parts and construction, she did build Gambol Shroud herself, but anything with an engine was lost on her. Unfortunately, this was her girlfriend's expertise and Yang was all too excited to talk about it. Blake found it oddly fitting that with Ruby and Yang both being sisters, that they both had their own projects they were endlessly tinkering with. For Ruby, it was her beloved weapon Crescent Rose, but for Yang, it was her motorcycle, Bumblebee. Blake lost count at how often Yang would spend entire weekends in the Beacon Academy garage, adjusting and meddling with her motorbike to squeeze every last bit of power and speed out of it.

"...and when the turbocharger is fully installed, this baby should see a speed increase of five to ten miles per hour, depending on how clean the air intake is," Yang said, beaming proudly.

"Yeah, I mean, who wouldn't want clean, uh, air intake? I mean, I know I wouldn't survive without clean air," replied Blake, too anxious to look up from her book. Yang just chuckled and gave the golden-eyed Faunus a kiss between her cat ears.

"You are absolutely adorable when you try to pretend you're interested." she giggled. Blake just blushed, still adjusting to the idea of public affection considering her and Yang and had been a couple for less than two weeks now. Everything still felt weird but in a good way. It would take some time to adjust.

Yang wiped her greasy hands on her yellow and black mechanic coveralls and crouched down to finish installing whatever expensive addition she had purchased, when the room suddenly filled with an explosion of rose petals, signifying that Ruby had made her Semblance-enhanced arrival. However, instead of her normal bubbly, hyperactive self, this version of Ruby looked frazzled, her eyes blood-shot and her combat skirt a disheveled, wrinkled mess. Her black tights were missing, her boots were hastily tied together and her corset and ammo belt were gone too.

"Wow, sis. You look like something Zwei threw up." Yang mocked. Ruby laughed nervously, rubbing the tips of her two index fingers together in an anxious habit.

"Yang, my dear, sweet, beautiful sister! Have I told you lately how much I love and adore you and think you are the wisest, most kick butt, pretty woman in the entire world?" Ruby said, with a fake smile. Yang narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"What did you do, Ruby?"

"Wha-what? What do you mean, my sweet sibling? Just because I say some nice things doesn't mean-"

"Ruby!" Yang exclaimed, cutting her off. "I've literally known you my entire life and I know when you're buttering me up because you're about to break some bad news. Just tell me what it is!"

Ruby sighed and blushed a deep shade of red. She took a hard breath to settle her nerves and then just let it all out, rambling in a high pitched, hysterical version of her normal voice.

"Okay, so you know how me and Weiss' one year anniversary is coming up, right? Right, okay, so I said for our special day, we could do whatever she wanted and I figured she'd want to go to one of those fancy restaurants that are so expensive they don't put their prices on the menu or some weird musical where a fat Viking lady sings in a language no one speaks anymore, but no! She had...other ideas, Yang! More...personal, romantic ideas. Ideas I can't really say out loud..."

Yang was even more confused, dismissing Ruby's concerns with a shrug.

"So Weiss wanted a little anniversary hanky-panky, big whoop. What's the issue?" she said, not understanding her sister's anxiousness. The color drained from Ruby's face as she gulped, Blake thinking she looked like she was next in line for an execution firing squad.

"Well, my sweet, dear sister...you know you told me to never open the ' _special_ ' box in your closet? The one you told me if I ever opened you'd kill me and bury my body in the middle of the woods and the police would never find me and even if they did find me that no court in the world would convict you?" Ruby quavered, slightly cowering. Yang's eyes hardened and her fists clenched into tight balls.

"You went into my _special_ box?" she hissed through grit teeth. "First of all, it's password protected, second of all, _ew_. Whatever you took, keep it. I don't care how many times you wash it, it's been... _inside_ my sister! I can't use that!"

"The password is 'BLAKE469', Yang. It's the same password you use for everything." Ruby scoffed matter-of-factly.

"Wait, _that's_ your password?" Blake said accusingly. Now it was Yang's turn to blush.

"Heh heh, we can uh, talk about this later, Kitty Cat? Maybe after I'm done here with Rubes?" she said, her cheeks getting hot. Blake hmmph-ed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Fine, but I want to talk about this later."

"And for the record, Yang, I didn't borrow one of those... _things_. You think I want something that's been inside my sister too? Blech. No. We, uh, borrowed the handcuffs..." whimpered Ruby, her nerves making her awkwardly shift from foot to foot. "It was Weiss' idea! She said she wanted to try something ' _bold_ ' and the first thing that popped into my head was the handcuffs."

"I think I'm more concerned on how you know about this box when I don't even know and I'm especially concerned about how you know what's in there." Blake monotoned with a cocked eyebrow.

"I-I f-found it the night we set up our room. I asked Yang if I could borrow her hairbrush and she said it was in a box in her closet." Ruby stammered.

"Yeah, and you found the _wrong_ box," Yang said with a bitter smirk. "That's why I had to password protect it."

"Though apparently, you're a bit too predictable in your passwords," Blake muttered.

"But back to the topic at hand," said Yang, eager to change the subject, "you borrowed the handcuffs, but why are you upset? I mean, I'm angry you stole my things without asking, but I would have at least lent you those."

"Well, uh, see, that's the thing - I was kinda hoping you maybe had a spare key?" Ruby pleaded.

"You lost the key?! Ruby, I only have one key, that's it! How did you lose it?"

"It's not my fault!" Ruby protested. "I was washing my hands after I was um, _done_ , with Weiss and the key slipped off my thumb and went down the drain!"

"Wait, you were holding on the key while you washed your hands? Why?" asked Blake, now starting to get curious on just what exactly happened.

"I didn't want to lose it!" Ruby whined. "So I held on to it for safe keeping. But if you don't have a spare key, then Weiss is in big, big trouble." Yang's eyes widened as she understood now why Ruby was so panicky and disheveled.

"Ruby...is Weiss still handcuffed to your bed?" she questioned. Ruby just nodded timidly. "Wow, okay, yeah, that is bad. I don't have the key, buttttttt, I do have these bolt cutters in my toolbox. I could use those?"

"ANYTHING! Just please don't hurt my Snowflake! She's in enough pain as it is and her arms are super sore!"

* * *

"Oh good, you brought the rest of the team," Weiss grunted bitterly. "Could you not find Port or Oobleck to come too? Maybe Port could entertain us all with riveting tales of how he was once handcuffed to a runaway alpha Grimm and survived by gnawing his own arm off?!" Before she left to go find Yang, Ruby had at least taken the opportunity to put Weiss' bathrobe on her to protect her modesty, but the scattered clothes and underwear all over the floor made it very clear what happened.

"Relax, Ice Queen. I would ask you to _restrain_ yourself, but it looks you beat me to it." Yang said with an impish grin while pointing finger guns at the Heiress. Weiss was not amused.

"Yang Xiao Long, if you do not free me from these horrible things I swear to the gods above I will break this bedpost off and beat you with it!" she snarled. Ruby whimpered like a scolded puppy, but Yang just laughed even harder.

"Easy, easy...here, hold still. Don't want to cut your thumbs off. Aaaaaaaaaand...done. There, all good." she said after snipping the metal chain in half. Weiss gingerly lowered her arms, wincing at how sore and stiff they were. The actual cuffs on her wrists were still locked in but Yang was able to cut those off too with some very careful use of the bolt cutter.

"I'm so sorry, Snowflake!" Ruby gasped, hugging her platinum-haired girlfriend around the neck. "This is all my fault."

"It's not your fault, Ruby," Weiss said, cautiously hugging back as her arms were still angry from their prolonged hanging. "Well, not _entirely_ your fault. You still lost the key, but I suppose I could forgive you..."

"ANYTHING!" Ruby chimed, her eyes wide.

"Well, we're still not done celebrating our anniversary, so I think Yang and Blake should take their leave." the heiress purred. Ruby blushed as red as her cloak and merely nodded.

"Okay, wow, you are totally welcome, Weiss!" Yang snorted sarcastically.

"Yang, don't think I do not appreciate you coming to help me, because I do. But for now, Ruby is my priority and then...I will buy you dinner. How does that sound?" Weiss asked. Yang thought it over, rubbing her chin as the gears in her head started to turn.

"How about you buy both Blake and I dinner? And by buy, I mean, you just give us the lien."

"Deal," Weiss said with a smile. "But in all seriousness - GO!"

Not having to be told twice, Blake and Yang left the RWBY dorm room, the door clicking shut and locking behind them.

"So, about that password..." Blake queried. "Mind explaining to me why you have the numbers 469 at the end of my name?"

"Heh, why don't I show you instead, Kitty Cat."

"Okay, but our dorm room is locked, remember? Your sister and Weiss?"

"Damn. Uh, wanna take a raincheck?"


	2. Rose of my Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, boils and ghouls, let's play a game - without using Google, can you identify every song that Weiss and Ruby listen to? And as always, if you like what you're reading, please leave a review!

"We need a song." Ruby blurted out. It was after classes on a random school day, the two girls had finished their Advanced Weapons Handling with Professor Port. They were back in the Team RWBY dorm, casually lounging around while still in their uniforms, though Ruby had taken her jacket off. The RWBY Team Leader was resting her head in Weiss' lap, while the Heiress was reading a new article on her Scroll about a potential new use of Fire Dust for surgical purposes.

"Huh? I'm sorry, Ruby, I wasn't paying attention." Weiss said, closing her Scroll.

"I said, we need a song!" Ruby appealed. "All cute couples have a special song, right? We're cute, we're a couple, but we don't have a song! We have to fix that, Weiss."

"Ruby, you just can't go and randomly pick a song. Couples who have a special song have it because it was playing during a special time like their first kiss, their first date, their first, um, _time_." Weiss said, blushing at that last part. But Ruby was undeterred.

"And we've had all of those moments, but we still don't have a song! We gotta fix that," she said, grabbing her Scroll and loading up her Splotify music player. "I'm sure we can find something together." Weiss just sighed.

"You're such a hopeless romantic, but in this weird way that's entirely based on cheesy romantic comedies." Ruby giggled and gave a supportive thumbs up.

"You know it, Snowflake!" she said, grinning. She thumbed a bit through the app, first browsing her own playlists and then searching for other people's custom mixes, looking for just the right song to express her relationship with Weiss. Finally, she found a massive one hundred song playlist simply called "Love" and Ruby felt like she hit the jackpot. "Ah-ha! Here we go!" she said triumphantly. "There has to be a song here we can find. Let's see...lemme trrryyyyy...this one!" and she hit play.

_I want to stand with you on a mountain._   
_I want to bathe with you in the sea._   
_I want to lay like this forever._   
_Until the sky falls down on me_

"What about this one?" Ruby asked eagerly, hitting PAUSE after the song played for a bit. Weiss merely shook her head.

"Who bathes in the sea? All the fish are swimming past your nether regions and the salt dries out your skin horribly. No thank you, I'll have to pass on this one." Weiss said disapprovingly.

"Okay, okay, no problem," Ruby said, trying to remain optimistic. "Plenty more songs where that came from. How about...this one?" she said and played the next song on the list.

_Don't wanna close my eyes_   
_I don't wanna fall asleep_   
_'Cause I'd miss you, baby_   
_And I don't wanna miss a thing_

"Sooooooo?" Ruby inquired, pausing this song. But once again, Weiss was not impressed.

"What is this, Junior High prom? I feel like we should both be wearing uncomfortable puffy dresses and slow dancing at least a foot apart. No Ruby, I'm going to have to pass on this one too."

"You're not going to make this easy, are you?" Ruby grunted, her silver eyes narrowing. Weiss just casually shrugged.

"I told you, special songs have to be _special_ because of a _reason_ , not just a random tune picked out of a playlist library," Weiss replied. But Ruby was not about to give up so easily.

"Nope, not going to throw in the towel. I will find us a song and it is going to be so romantic that you'll, uh, never hear such a romantic song before again!" Ruby said and flipped through the playlist again to find another song. "Okay, this one looks like a winner.."

_I've been alone with you inside my mind_   
_And in my dreams, I've kissed your lips a thousand times_   
_I sometimes see you pass outside my door_   
_Hello, is it me you're looking for?_

"Well?" Ruby queried, her eyes pleading for a positive answer after she paused this song.

"I don't get it, is he blind? Is the object of his affection blind? Why is he asking her this?" Weiss complained, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"You're lucky you're so hot, Weiss," Ruby growled in frustration. "because you're not making this easy for me!"

"I'm not trying to make anything easy or anything hard! I'm trying to tell you that not everything in life is a simple romantic comedy. I'm sure something will happen with us where just the right song plays at just the right time, but sitting here in our bed listening to Splotify is not that moment!"

"Uh, hey, is something wrong?" Yang said, slowly entering the room. "I just came in to get my shades and I didn't want to walk into a lover's quarrel."

"No, no, it's fine." Weiss sighed. "Ruby is just insistent on finding us a special song, so she's going through every song in Remnant."

"Any luck?" Yang asked, but the look on Weiss' face said enough. "Well, here, maybe I can help. Here's one I like," she said, taking her own Scroll and playing a song from her personal playlist.

_Tonight I want to see it in your eyes_   
_Feel the magic_   
_There's something that drives me wild_   
_And tonight we're gonna make it all come true_   
_'Cause girl, you were made for me_   
_And girl I was made for you_

"Now that's a love song!" Yang said with full confidence, pausing the tune. "I've had a few rendezvous with this little number if you catch my drift."

"Yang, we're looking for a special song, not an anthem to have a heavy petting quickie in the back seat in a DustMart parking lot." Weiss shot back. Ruby giggled at this, but Yang was not amused.

"Wow, Ice Queen, gonna be like that, huh? Here, try this one on for size..."

_I got pictures of naked ladies_  
 _Lying on their beds_  
 _I whiff that smell and sweet convulsion_  
 _Starts a-Swelling inside my head_  
 _I'm making artificial lovers for free_  
 _I start to_ howl _I'm in heat_  
 _I moan and growl and the hunt drives me crazy_  
 _I fuck like a Beast_

"Turned on yet?" Yang crowed. Weiss blushed five shades of red and hurled a pillow at Yang.

"Get out! You are not helping this situation at all with your lewd one-night stand anthems!" the Heiress yelled. Yang stuck her tongue out in childish defiance, grabbed her aviator shades and left. "I can't believe she calls that...that noise music!"

"Yeah, she gets her musical taste from Uncle Qrow..." Ruby said with a defeated sigh. She was about ready to call it quits when a brilliant idea suddenly slipped in her head. Weiss had made it very clear that a special song needs to occur during a special moment and what could be more special than a kiss? As Weiss was still ranting about Yang's choices in music, Ruby found just the perfect love song and hovered her thumb over the play button.

"...and what does she take me for? Some two-bit hussy barmaid with loose morals and an even looser skirt? I swear, it's like she doesn't even know me! I want a song about love, about devotion, aboutHmmppphhh!"

Ruby cut her off with a sweet, passionate kiss, her tongue silently asking for entrance and Weiss eagerly parted her lips, more than happy to oblige. Phase Two was about to begin, as Ruby fumbled with her phone a bit to hit the play button, but since her eyes were closed, she misjudged where the button was and wound up playing an entirely different song from an entirely different playlist.

_Who let the dogs out_   
_Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof_   
_Who let the dogs out_   
_Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof_   
_Who let the dogs out_   
_Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof_   
_Who let the dogs out_

"Ahhhh! No, that's not the song I wanted!" Ruby wailed, frantically shutting off her music. "Okay, I give up. You're right, Weiss. This whole thing was stupid." Weiss could see the hurt and disappointment in Ruby's face when a song she had all but forgotten about suddenly came back to her.

"Actually, Ruby, there was a song I heard a few weeks ago while cleaning our dorm room, which by the way I seem to be the only person capable of doing such a thing. I meant to play it for you but with everything going on with the finals and tests and Grimm outbreaks, I had completely forgotten. But here, I think you might like this." Weiss said, taking her own Scroll and loading up her own music. The soft sounds began to play, the only musical accompaniment being an acoustic guitar and an old piano as the male singer sang an honest love song, his voice worn and ragged, but still soulful and expressing a lifetime of weariness but gratitude for the object of his affection.

_We're the best partners this world's ever seen,_   
_Together as close as can be._   
_Sometimes it's hard to find time in between,_   
_To tell you what you are to me._

_You are the rose of my heart,_   
_You are the love of my life._   
_A flower not fading nor falling apart,_   
_If you're tired, rest your head on my arm._   
_Rose of my heart._

"Weiss..." Ruby whispered, her silver pools starting to fill with tears.

"Shhh," Weiss replied, pressing her finger to Ruby's lips. "Just listen."

_So hard times or easy times, what do I care,_   
_There's nothing I'd change if I could._   
_The tears and the laughter are things that we share,_   
_Your hand in mine makes all times good._

_You are the rose of my heart,_   
_You are the love of my life._   
_A flower not fading nor falling apart,_   
_You're my harbor in life's restless storm._

_Rose of my heart._

"Weiss!" Ruby exclaimed, diving forward and pinning her platinum-haired love to her bed, furiously kissing her with the passion and devotion one can only muster when they've met their soul-mate. Their tongues wrestled with one another, their fingers intertwined in each other's hair. It was sexy and beautiful and the music only made it that much more incredible. "I don't deserve you," Ruby said, breaking the kiss for a gasp of air.

"Probably not, but I'll make an exception," Weiss replied with a grin. Ruby snickered and stuck her tongue out.

"And you're so humble too!"

"Of course I'm humble, Ruby! Do you know how much effort it takes to refrain from reminding you how lucky you are? How you have the most beautiful and sophisticated and talented girlfriend in all of Beacon Academy? Hmm?"

Ruby laughed and gave Weiss a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Never change, Snowflake. Never change."

 


	3. Dr. Chainsawhands

"I'm not sure I follow your logic on this..." Weis said. It was a dark and stormy Friday night at Patch, with the girlfriends going to visit Ruby's father over the weekend as sort of a mini-vacation. Weiss was eager to escape the confines of the Academy and visiting her (potential) future in-law was always a good idea. Besides, after the stuffy, suffocating posh etiquette of Atlas and Schnee Manor, it would be nice to get back to basics. She was snuggled with Ruby on the couch in the living room, a heavy quilted blanket slung over them with a full spread of a cheese pizza, choco-bomb creme cookies and a two liter of People Like Grapes soda presented on the coffee table like a feast.

"It makes total sense!" Ruby protested. "I always wanted to see a scary movie on a date, so if one of us got scared, they could cuddle with the other one for safety."

"And that's why you rented this terrible b-movie?"

"It's not terrible!" Ruby snapped back. "I asked Yang what a good horror movie for a date is and she suggested _'Dr. Chainsawhands 3-D - The Doctor is Sin_ ' and that's why I rented it!"

Weiss sighed and nibbled on a choco-bomb creme cookie.

"But you don't like scary movies. You couldn't even watch 'The Daydream Before Thanksgiving' without having nightmares." Weiss said. Ruby pouted in a way that wasn't meant to look adorable but made it hard for Weiss to resist her.

"But that's the point! You're supposed to be my security for this. I get scared, you cuddle me _. It's a system, Snowflake!"_

Weiss just shook her head, realizing it didn't make sense to argue with her girlfriend. Once Ruby's mind was set on something, a herd of wild Grimm couldn't pull her away from it. The platinum-haired heiress slung her arm over Ruby, the silver-eyed sniper resting her head on Weiss' chest.

"Do we have to keep the volume down?" Weiss asked, pressing play on the movie player.

"Nah, Dad sleeps heavy. He's in bed by nine and a bomb could go off and it wouldn't wake him up." Ruby giggled. "Besides, he's giving us our privacy."

The opening credits started to roll and already Weiss could tell this movie was going to be torture. The production values seemed like they were filmed on someone's lunch break at a McBeefy's Burger Joint and the very first scene was, of course, a large breasted woman taking a shower.

"Who showers like this?!" Weiss demanded. "Is she washing or checking her body for ticks?!"

"Sounds like somebody is a bit jeaaalllouuusssss." Ruby teased, knowing the subject of Weiss' bust size was always a way to get her riled up.

"I am so not jealous of those inflated silicone balloons." Weiss huffed. "They are obscene and grotesque." Ruby laughed with a snort at this, seeing Weiss' cheeks get flushed with anger.

"I'm just messing with you, Snowflake! I like your boobies just the way they are. Besides, it's like Uncle Qrow always says - _'Anything more than a handful is a waste_.'"

"I'm both flattered and horrified that this is something you've discussed." Weiss deadpanned.

"Eh, you'd be surprised the things Uncle Qrow wants to talk about after he's had a few shots of his _Ancient Shenanigans_ whiskey."

Onward from the opening shower scene, the girls were eventually introduced to Dr. Thaddeus E. Campbell, the protagonist who undergoes the horrible accident that turns him into Dr. Chainsawhands. The actor, if you could call him that Weiss thought, recited his lines in such a stilted, mechanical way that she was convinced he was just a poor guy they pulled off the street.

"I'm confused," Weiss finally admitted. "How did he get chainsaws for hands again?" Ruby groaned and rolled her eyes.

"It's so easy to understand! He was working on an experiment to replace his arthritis hands with robot hands, but when the magnetron machine he built to polarize the hands backfires, it attracts a pair of chainsaws he was keeping in his broom closet!"

"Right, because that's something scientists usually do - keep chainsaws nearby," Weiss said with a wrinkled nose of disgust.

"Just relax and enjoy the movie!" Ruby said, giving Weiss an encouraging peck on the cheek.

The movie went on as the bodies piled and gallons of fake, syrupy blood spilled on screen. Ruby whimpered and yelped with each death, clutching to Weiss for dear life and burying her head in her girlfriend's chest for some of the more intense death scenes. Weiss would be lying if said she wasn't enjoying this part, even if the movie was an exercise in cinematic torture.

"Ohmygods! He shoved that guy's head into a pencil sharpener! How is that even possible?!" Ruby wailed at one of the more grotesque scenes. Weiss just shrugged, casually running her fingers through Ruby's crimson tipped hair.

"I'm not sure, to be honest. I'm more impressed earlier when he stabbed the chef to death with a loaf of bread." Weiss said.

"YES! That was so cool! The way he said, 'Another one bites the _crust_!' was so scary." Ruby squealed with terrified glee. "I'm glad you're enjoying this movie."

"I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm enjoying it, Ruby, but more I'm... _tolerating_ it. For your sake." Weiss said, a slight smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Ruby beamed with a happy smile and cozied herself again on top of Weiss to watch the remainder of the movie. Soon, her full belly from gratuitous amounts of cookies and pizza, the comfort of her Weiss Pillow and warmth of her quilted blanket proved to be too much for the RWBY team leader and she drifted off to sleep, softly snoring in her girlfriend's arms. Weiss, however, was wide awake. Her crystal blue eyes were locked on the screen, as she bit her bottom lip. Now that Ruby was asleep, she could let her guard down and embrace the fact that this movie had her terrified. She didn't want to admit it, she has an image to protect after all, but somehow the cheap rubber props, sludge-like fake blood and obscene amounts of nudity all came together in a way that made the heiress uneasy. It didn't help that a pop-up storm was raging outside the Xiao Long house, sending cascading waves of rain against the windows as thunder roared in the midnight sky.

Weiss' body was tense as a beam of iron as the final moments of the movie came to their violent end. The last survivor, a teenage girl, managed to trick Dr. Chainsawhands into falling into a vat of corrosive acid, the camera making sure to catch every grisly detail as his body melted away into globs of rubberized faux-flesh. All of it seemed to end on a somewhat happy note before Dr. Chainsawhand's melted hand burst through the bubbling green liquid in a final, defiant act as the text "THE END...?" faded on to the screen. Weiss sighed, letting her body relax and unwind. A quick glance of her Scroll said the time was now 2:49 AM and she and Ruby had planned on going strawberry picking the next morning, assuming this storm ever lets up.

"Ruby...Ruby..." Weiss whispered, gently shaking her girlfriend. "Movie is over, it's time for bed."

"Buh...? Wha? Snuh?" Ruby said, her eyes fluttering like two butterflies. "...what..is..? Bed?"

"Yes, you dolt," Weiss said with a slightly harder shake. "I'm not carrying you up the stairs, so unless you want to sleep on the couch, I would strongly suggest you wake up."

"F-fine..." Ruby said, stretching her wiry arms in a mighty yawn. "you don't gotta be so...so demanding."

Weiss rolled her eyes a bit and helped Ruby up, before making sure any leftovers were probably stored away, the blanket was neatly folded and returned to the closet, and the digital movie was shut off as well as the television. She was a houseguest, after all.

"W-wait! Before we go upstairs..." Ruby said with another yawn, struggling to keep her eyes open. "we gotta...we gotta decide something first."

"If you're inquiring if I plan on being... _intimate_...tonight with you, I'll have to pass. I'm much too tired and I would feel weird with your Father literally right down the hall." Weiss said quietly, her cheeks blushing a light shade of scarlet.

"No, no, no," Ruby said, rubbing her eyes. "We gotta decide who's gonna be the big spoon tonight."

"Seriously? This discussion again?"

"YEP!" Ruby said, now slightly more alert. "Rock, paper, scissors. The winner is big spoon!"

"This is so childish," Weiss said with a sigh, before thrusting her hand out to initiate the game.

"One! Two! Three! SHOOT!" Ruby said excitedly and threw down a solid rock which triumphantly beat Weiss' scissors. "Looks like I'm the big spoon tonight, Snowflake!"

"As if that's a bad thing..." Weiss said under her breath, following Ruby to her room. Ruby gently closed the door behind them and gave Weiss a sweet, slow, loving goodnight kiss. It sent goosebumps up and down the heiress' spine, making her moan ever so softly into Ruby's open mouth.

"I gotta go pee..." Ruby said bashfully, finally breaking the kiss. "But don't go to sleep yet! I gotta spoon you first."

"So romantic," Weiss said with a sarcastic chuckle. "My girlfriend - the queen of pillow talk."

"I can't talk to pillows...?" Ruby wondered. Weiss was about to interject, probably calling Ruby a dolt, when Ruby held up her hands in protest. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I know what pillow talk is."

Ruby excused herself to the bathroom, leaving Weiss behind, sitting on the bed. The storm was just as violent as before, the winds howling through the trees and the lightning lighting up the room like daytime. Weiss hated to admit it, but she was getting rather uneasy being in the room like this. She _knew_ Dr. Chainsawhands wasn't real, she _knew_ the movie was absolutely terrible in every way and yet she still found herself spooked and on edge.

' _It's just a movie, Weiss. Remember, you're a Schnee. You're better than some low-budget splatter flick_.' Weiss thought to herself. But whatever train of thought she had going was quickly interrupted by the sound of a heavy thump coming up the stairs. There was no way that could be Ruby, as she was using the upstairs bathroom and she's not that heavy and it certainly wasn't Zwei, so who could it be? "H-hello?" Weiss asked, her words partially caught in her throat.

No response. Just silence.

"Who...who is there?" she asked again, but still no reply. The heavy thumping became louder, working its way down the hall and towards Ruby's room. "Y-Yang? Is..is that you? I thought you were staying back at the dorm?" Weiss stammered, knowing it was a long shot but still hoping it might be Yang making an unannounced, last-minute visit. But again, no response, just silence. Without thinking, the heiress jumped from the bed and locked the bedroom door from the inside, her heart hammering in her chest. "If that's you, Ruby, this isn't funny!" she said, her voice cracking. The doorknob wanted to turn, but the lock prevented it from fully opening, frustrating whoever was on the other side. "Please...if this is not Ruby, just...just go away!"

Silence.

The doorknob twisted some more, before Weiss heard a sound even more terrifying than the heavy thumping - the click of an unlocked door, meaning someone has a key. Now terrified beyond rational thought, Weiss panicked and summoned a glyph at the last second, using it as a battering ram and flinging it at the assailant, hoping to knock them to the ground. It worked, sending the mysterious thumper flying across the hallway with a loud THUD.

"OW! What the...? Weiss?" said Taiyang, rubbing his head. He was in PJs, a simple pair of black sweatpants and a grey faded Beacon Academy tank top. "What in the name of Remnant did you do that for?!"

"I...I thought you were someone else..." Weiss said, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "I heard a thumping sound and I kept asking who it was and no one replied...I'm sorry, Mr. Xiao Long."

"First off, I told you to call me Tai. Secondly, that thumping you heard was me. I went downstairs to see if you girls had any pizza left and I tripped over Zwei and hurt my ankle, but as I was trying to make my way back upstairs, I saw you left your Scroll downstairs so I came up here to give it to you. As for not hearing you," Tai said, pulling out two earbuds. "I was listening to the radio because I can't sleep and this helps with insomnia. "

"Oh." was all Weiss could say, wishing a bolt of lightning would hit her at this very moment. Tai grumbled a bit as he stood up, clearly favoring his ankle.

"Some ice and Aura should fix this..." he said to himself. "Where's Ruby, by the way?"

As if on cue, the sound of a flushing toilet and sink seemingly replied to Tai's inquiry, as Ruby stepped out, still yawning, her body hunched over in an almost awake-sleep-walk.

"Huh? Why is everyone in the hallway? DAD? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Ruby. Just...a bit of a miscommunication with Weiss. Why don't you girls go back to sleep and I'll make us omelets in the morning? Bacon, mushrooms and cheese sound good?"

"It sounds delicious, Mr. Xiao-I mean, Tai. I would like that very much." Weiss said, her cheeks on fire from embarrassment.

Ruby gave her Dad a goodnight hug and a quick peck on the cheek and shuffled her way to the bedroom, patting the bed for Weiss to lay down first to be spooned.

"Are you okay?" Ruby asked, her eyelids getting heavy.

"I'm fine, Ruby. Just...from now on, let's just stick with romantic comedies, ok?"

Ruby only replied with soft snoring, her arms locked around Weiss' waist in a vice-like grip. Weiss closed her eyes and let sleep take her, happy to put Dr. Chainsawhands and his low brow gore behind her.


	4. How it All Began

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this takes place right around Season 2, Episode 7, "Dance Dance Infiltration" but it's an alternate take on what could have happened, assuming there was no Nefarious Plot from Cinder. This is how I imagine Ruby and Weiss first started their relationship.

The incident happened so fast that Ruby had barely a moment to process it. It all started when her feelings towards the matter had become a struggle for the past few weeks, turning and boiling inside of her stomach like hot oil. She was losing sleep, she couldn't eat and training and even missions were being awkward. She didn't want to admit it at first, but it was becoming more and more apparent and she couldn't lie to herself anymore - she was in love with Weiss Schnee.

Naturally, there was only person she could talk to and that was Yang. So one day, after classes had let out and Weiss and Blake were occupied somewhere else on campus, Ruby broke down and told Yang everything. Surprised at first by the confession, Yang turned out to be a good listener and let Ruby rant and get everything off her chest.

"...and I just don't know what this means, Yang! Weiss can't stand me and I can't crush on her! Am I...-g-gay? A lesbian? I just...urgh! I don't know, everything is so confusing!" she said, plopping down on the side of Blake's bed. Yang smiled warmly and rubbed Ruby's hair.

"Sis, just because you have a crush on a girl doesn't mean you're gay or straight or anything like that. Love is love. Just like who you like and don't worry about the labels." said Yang. Ruby sighed.

"I know, but it's just...I always figured eventually I would get a boyfriend _someday_. But now I'm sitting here daydreaming about having Weiss, Weiss _Schnee_ , as a girlfriend! She totally has the hots for Neptune, sis! She's about as into girls as Jaune is into hand-to-hand combat." Yang snorted with laughter at this, before giving her sister and team leader a massive side hug.

"You know what I do when I'm faced with a problem?"

"You get really mad and then punch it?"

"Ha, guilty as charged!" Yang said with a chuckle. "but in all seriousness, I approach the problem head-on. You just gotta rip that band-aid off and go for broke."

"But...I don't have a band-aid?" Ruby said in confusion.

"No, it's a metaphor. Look, Rubes - you know I'm not the one to BS you, right? So what you have to do is simple - ask Weiss to the Beacon Dance next week."

"Are you kidding?!" Ruby said, standing up and flailing her arms. "Ask Weiss to the Beacon Dance?! Why don't I give Cardin a wedgie while I'm at it?! Maybe call Velvet a nude model in front of Coco?! Cause these are all great decisions!"

Now it was Yang's turn to stand up, firmly placing both her hands on Ruby's shoulders and squeezing them tightly.

"You are over thinking this! Just ask her! If she says no, she says no. You were planning on going by yourself, right? So the worst that can happen is that your plans stay the same!" Yang said. Ruby exhaled with defeat, her shoulders slumping and her posture going slack.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt. I'll ask her tomorrow on the way to breakfast."

"That'a girl!" Yang cheered, pumping her fist in the air. "I got a good feeling about this one, sis."

* * *

Ruby barely slept that night. Tossing and turning in her bunk, she kept glancing at her Scroll to check the time, dreading the 6:30 AM alarm forcing her to be up, showered and dressed in uniform to walk to the cafeteria for breakfast. When she finally drifted off to sleep, her alarm buzzed soon after and cut through the pre-dawn air like Crescent Rose slicing through warm Grimm flesh. To the rest of the girls, it had to have felt like an everyday morning, but to Ruby, she felt like she was on death row, waiting for the warden to call her to take the long trip down the hallway and never return.

After everyone was dressed and Weiss made sure her hair and makeup were to her levels of satisfaction, Team RWBY made their way down the hall and out the dorm to the main courtyard and then to the cafeteria. Usually, all four of them would be discussing whatever the topic du jour was, be it an upcoming test, a recent Grimm battle, or heckling Weiss about Jaune's frequent attempts to woo her. But this time Yang was in full Big Sister mode and pulled Blake back a bit to keep her separated from the group, leaving just Weiss and Ruby several feet ahead of them.

"So, uh, nice weather, huh?" Ruby said with a hoarse whimper. Weiss merely shrugged.

"It's acceptable, I suppose."

"Heh, yeah. Totally acceptable. I was thinking the same thing." Ruby stammered. Glancing back at Yang for support, her older sister was pointing up to encourage Ruby to keep the conversation going, mouthing silent words of support. Ruby let out a soft moan of irritation and cleared her throat. "So Weiss, next Friday is the Beacon Dance. Are you, uh, going?"

"More than likely," Weiss said off-handedly. She wasn't even bothering to make eye contact with Ruby but was glancing over her notes from the night before for the big test tomorrow. "Are you?"

"Who me? Heh, you know...uh, sooooo many boys are just beating down my door to ask me. Can't keep track of them!" Ruby quavered with a nervous smile. Weiss merely cocked a confused eyebrow, before returning to her notes. "But that's not to say I couldn't get a date later, you know! I mean, I like to keep my options open."

"Well, good for you, I suppose," Weiss replied, only the slightest hint of emotion in her voice. "I had intended to have a partner for this dance, but it looks like I'm going solo."

"REALLY? I mean, _really_? That's, you know, too bad." Ruby said, sputtering her words in a nervous tumble out of her mouth.

"Is there some point to any of this conversation, Ruby? I really need to get back to studying. If I can't bring my A- up to an A+, I'm going to hear it from my sister and I really don't want to have to answer that Scroll call."

"Oh, uh, no, everything is fine. Just peachy. Juussssst peachy. All peaches over here. I'm practically the Queen of Peaches. Yep. _Soooo_ many peaches." Ruby rambled. Weiss just shook her head in annoyance and walked a bit faster to get to the cafeteria before the rest of her team. Yang waited till Weiss had a good bit of distance between them before speeding up to walk side by side with her sister.

"Just what was that?! You didn't ask her out at all!" she protested, her violet eyes showing the slightest bit of turning red.

"I'm sorry!" Ruby whined, burying her head in her hands. "I chickened out, I couldn't do it." Blake, who had been a silent witness to all of this, looked confused.

"Wait, what am I missing? What's going on here?" she asked, her cat ears twitching underneath her bow.

"Rubes has a crush on Weiss and wanted to ask her out to the dance but she wussed out in the end," Yang said with an annoyed shrug. Ruby's face blushed as red as a thousand rose petals.

"YANG! That's not supposed to be public knowledge!" she pouted, stomping her foot in anger.

"Hey, she's our teammate, sis! She's saved our rear ends more times than I can count, so if anyone should know, it's her." Yang said. Blake blushed slightly at the unexpected compliment.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but if you really do have feelings for Weiss, you should ask her out. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose." Blake appealed. Ruby grunted in irritation.

"I have _everything_ to lose, Blake!" Ruby fumed, her silver eyes hard. "Weiss already can't stand me and me confessing that I have a crush on her is going to smash whatever good vibes there are between us! Can you imagine having to be a teammate with someone who thinks about giving you smooches and cuddles all day long?!"

"No, I can't," Blake mused, giving Yang a coy, sarcastic smile. Yang's cheeks flushed crimson and she briefly broke eye contact with the golden-eyed Faunas.

"Point is, I'm not telling her anything. I'm just going to go to this stupid dance in my stupid lady stilts and drink a ton of fruit punch and then go home and play video games all night and then we never ever talk about this again. Good? Good. Now if you excuse me, it's omelet day and I do not want to miss out!" Ruby huffed, pushing open the large wooden doors to the cafeteria and letting them slam behind her.

"So...that was a thing." Yang lamented.

"Honestly? I think they would make a cute couple." Blake observed, opening the cafeteria doors.

* * *

The actual dance had been as much fun as watching paint dry for Ruby. She had spent most of it hovering by the punch bowl, watching everyone else dance and have fun. True to her word, Weiss was there, but the platinum-haired heiress spent most of the night making sure the decorations were in order and all the chairs were pushed in. Ruby's heart ached to see Weiss alone like that and she wanted nothing more than to ask her to a dance, even if it was just a random silly song and not even a slow romantic ballad. The RWBY Team Leader sighed dejectedly and took another sip of the syrupy sugary fruit punch.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Huh?"

Startled, Ruby turned around to see Pyrrha standing beside her, looking amazingly elegant and beautiful in a floor-length blood-red dress. It complemented her emerald eyes perfectly and made them shine like two gemstones.

"Sorry if I snuck up on you," Pyrrha said, slightly embarrassed. "But you seemed to be rather alone up here so I thought I might come and keep you company?"

"Oh, yeah, I don't mind. I'm afraid I'm not much company anyway." Ruby muttered, refilling her cup full of punch for the umpteenth time.

"We shall see about that. I must admit, your dress looks very lovely on you." Pyrrha said with a warm smile. Ruby blushed a bit. Yang had picked this outfit out for her, as she had no idea what to possibly wear. Yang had picked out a short, red, sleeveless dress with a thick black sash around the waist and black trim along the bottom along with black pumps and black stockings.

"Heh, thanks. I don't know much about fancy lady clothes, so Yang picked this out for me." Ruby admitted.

"Well, she did a wonderful job. I'm honestly surprised there isn't a handsome gentleman at your arm." Pyrrha said with genuine warmth in her voice. But Ruby just gave out a bitter, sharp, sarcastic chuckle.

"Who, me? Ha. No, no boys asked me, at all. But..." Ruby sighed, letting her shoulders slump. "Pyrrha, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course! I realize we do not have much interaction outside of the occasional mission, but I do consider you a friend. You can tell me anything."

"What if...what if there was someone you were madly in love with, right? And you have these...feelings...for them and you want to tell them, tell them so bad! But you're afraid of rejection and you don't want to ruin what you already have with them. What...I dunno, what would you do?" Ruby said, before realizing who she was talking to. Pyrrha's face burned a deep shade of scarlet as she struggled to find an appropriate response.

"Well, um..I-I'm sure your situation is, pro-probably one that is, um, causing you distress...but, personally, I-I feel that-" she stuttered. Ruby immediately felt guilty.

"Oh, no! I'm sorry! I forgot that you and well, Jaune and-"

"No, no, it's fine," Pyrrha said, having regained some of her cool. "But to answer your question, speaking from experience, I would say it's best to confront the issue and address your feelings for this person. Otherwise, your moment will pass and by then it may be too late to say anything." Ruby frowned as this was basically the same thing Yang and Blake had told her and she was desperately hoping someone would tell her something different. "Also, if I may be so bold, who is this lucky gentleman that you have feelings for?"

"Well, heh, that's the thing. It's not so much a _gentleman_ as it is a _gentlewoman._ " Ruby laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head. Pyrrha's eyes went wide with shock.

"Oh, I had no idea." she finally said.

"Yeah, and it's bad because she has no idea, right? No clue! And if I told her, I think she would flip! Especially, well...I can trust you, right? It's Weiss. I have a crush on Weiss and I don't know what to do!"

"Ruby, I-"

"And I know I get on her nerves and I know I can be irritating to her, but...dang it all, she's just so pretty! When she walks into the room, my heart just freezes up and I can't breathe."

"I understand, but I really feel that-"

"And everyone keeps telling me that I should just confront it head on, ask her out on a date and be done with it! But this is _Weiss Schnee_! What am I supposed to do? ' _Oh hi, Weiss! Great job killing that Grimm last week. Say, are you busy next weekend? Maybe we can have cute lesbian smooches?!_ "

"...is that how you really feel about me?" Weiss said softly from behind Ruby. The color drained from Ruby's face, her entire body froze.

"I had been trying to tell you, she was walking right behind you.." Pyrrha said bashfully. Ruby's throat tightened, her tongue stopped working and her vocal chords shut down. Every cell in her body had completely solidified like she was made of concrete or steel.

"Is there someplace we can talk about this privately?" Weiss asked, her voice calm. Ruby, however, was not and after a few moments of awkward silence, she disappeared in a poof of rose petals, leaving behind two perfectly good black pumps.

"Is she going to be okay?" Pyrrha asked, her voice fraught with worry.

"I'm not sure," Weiss said with a heavy sigh. "but I know where I can find her."

* * *

Ruby Rose was laying face down in her bunk, crying softly to herself. Her life was over at this point, she had blown everything. Weiss had heard the terrible, awful truth and now things would never be the same. She would never respect her as the team leader or she would ask to be transferred to another team or drop out of Beacon entirely. And it was all Ruby's fault.

A gentle knock on the door broke her from this fit of self-loathing, followed by the sound of the door gently opening.

"Whoever you are, if you came to talk to me, please leave. I just want to be alone right now." Ruby said between bitter sobs, not bothering to look up from her pillow.

"Ruby, it's me," Weiss said softly.

"If you're here to call me a dolt and chew me out, the door is that way." Ruby babbled, pointing towards the door. Weiss gently closed it and, with a stubborn huff, climbed up the side of the makeshift bed to sit on the far end, by Ruby's feet.

"I'm actually here to ask if you want to dance."

"...what?" Ruby said, lifting her head up. The makeup that Blake has so meticulously slaved over for Ruby was smearing and streaking. "Is this..a joke?"

"Far from it," Weiss said with a surprisingly friendly smile. "I just came up here to see if you wanted to dance with me, right here, right now," she said, before using a glyph to land on to make jumping from the bunk easier.

Ruby sat up with a pitiful sniff and wiped some of the smeared mascara from her eyes, only smearing it worse on her cheeks.

"R-really? A dance? With me?"

"I know you can be a bit thick sometimes, Ruby Rose, but I know you're not hard of hearing, Now, do you want to dance? Yes or no?"

"YES!" Ruby said in excitement, leaping down. She was so painfully close to Weiss that she could smell the alluring flowery scent of perfume. "But, um, I don't know how to dance. At least, all polite lady dancing." Weiss laughed at 'polite lady dancing' and placed her hand on Ruby's hip, making the team leader blush.

"Here, see how my hand is? Do the same with me. Excellent. Now, hold my other hand like so," Weiss said, interlocking her fingers with Ruby's free hand. "and follow my footsteps."

And so Ruby did and for the first time in her life, she did 'polite lady dancing', her silver eyes mesmerized as she followed Weiss across the dorm room floor. They danced in silence for a few minutes, before Weiss put everything to a stop. "I believe that's enough for now, Ruby. My poor toes can only handle being stepped on so many times."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Weiss!" Ruby apologized, bracing for the eventual verbal dressing down, but Weiss just gave a casual shrug.

"We'll just have to practice more. Are you free this weekend?" she said, acting as if such a question was a normal, everyday thing. Ruby merely blinked in disbelief, taking a moment or two to process what was just said.

"Did you...? Are you asking me out on a date?" she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm asking if you would like to spend Saturdayy night with me for dinner and a movie, so if that's a date, then yes," Weiss said, her cheeks starting to get just a tiny shade of red.

"...yes, Weiss. I would love to."


	5. Daddy Butter

 

Weiss Schnee-Rose sighed heavily, rubbing her eyes as the numbers on the computer screen began to blur out of focus. She had been at this for hours, desperately trying to balance the Schnee Dust Company's budget for the quarter. Since she had taken over the family business, she was faced with the arduous task of undoing the years of corruption and shady business practices her father had done. True, the company turned amazing profits in those years, but they were at the expense of basically every moral or ethical rule and often involved things like Faunas slave labor, bribing health officials to push unsafe products on the market and that was just the start of it.

She exhaled deeply before taking another sip of her coffee from the "WORLD'S GREATEST CEO" mug that Ruby had bought for her on a whim. It was already 8:34 PM and the coffee was barely working in keeping her awake, even if it was the special double caffeine blend that Nora had suggested she try. Ruby was running late coming back home, as always, as she simply sent a text reading 'MISSED THE AIRBUS - BE HOME SHORTLY SNFLKE! LUV YA! Xoxoxoxoxoxox'

"Such a dolt," Weiss said with a soft laugh. She knew why Ruby had missed the Airbus, the same reason she always does - she was distracted reading another issue of 'DUST & AMMO' magazine at the news-stand. It happens more times than Ruby would admit, but Weiss had fully anticipated her wife coming home later than usual. Since graduating from Beacon, Ruby had taken on work as a freelance Huntress, taking jobs here and there to continue to rid the world of Grimm. She was offered a job to teach at the newly reopened Beacon Academy, now renamed the Pyrrha Nikos School of Higher Achievement as a tribute to their fallen friend, but Ruby turned it down.

"I left school once, don't wanna go back again," she said that day. Weiss had briefly protested since the job would pay more and be a lot less risky than being a Huntress, but Ruby was stubborn as always and set in her ways. Being a Huntress is what she wanted to do and it is what she would continue to do, like it or not. Weiss came to respect that, coming to the conclusion that she did not want to deny her wife her longtime dream.

But as stressful as being married to a Huntress was, it was nothing compared to the anxiety Weiss was feeling at this moment. Tonight was the night she asked Ruby a very important question, one that carried ramifications that would change the scope of their lives forever. Weiss flipped through the brochure one last time, reading and reading the bullet points and marketing text. She was going to give it to Ruby to read over, offering more information for her in case she needed it. But she needed to get home first and Weiss was having trouble staying awake.

Closing down the financial spreadsheet, Weiss decided she would try balancing the accounts again tomorrow. She sipped her coffee again, feeling slightly more alert, but not as much as she would like. Zwei woke from his slumber, the corgi old and gray and half blind, but still fiercely loyal to his owners.

"Oh, good evening, sir," Weiss said playfully, rubbing the dog's ears. "I was wondering when you would join us. Didja have a good nap, boy? Hmmm?" Zwei's tongue lulled happily out of his mouth, giving a satisfied snort and bark of approval, before spreading out on his side, stretching his legs out as far as they could go. "Lazy bum," Weiss said with a laugh and stepped out of her office to the living room. Still, no word from Ruby and she was starting to get worried that she missed the Airbus again. Weiss had pulled out her scroll from her fluffy ice blue bathrobe pocket when she heard the side door open and the sound of heavy boots stomping off the sticky snow.

"Honey, I'm home!" Ruby yelled. It was something she always said every time she came back from a mission, serving as Ruby's version of a stereotypical sitcom greeting. It was dorky, annoying, cute in a way and one hundred percent Ruby. "Who's happy to see me?"

"No one," Weiss said with a smile, meeting her beloved in the kitchen. Ruby gave a fake, exaggerated pout in response.

"Well, that's some bad news. Guess I just better get out there and sell my body on the street for dust money."

"Please, like you would give up the chance to leave your Sugar Mama," Weiss chuckled. It was a reoccurring joke between the two that Ruby only married Weiss for her money, with Weiss referring to herself as Ruby's 'Sugar Mama', much to her wife's annoyance.

"You're only my Sugar Mama cause you're so sweet!" Ruby said cheerfully, planting a kiss on Weiss' cheek. "How was work?"

"Ugh," Weiss groaned, rolling her eyes. "You know, I almost miss being a Huntress. Grimm are easy to predict - they're dumb, violent, bloodthirsty creatures. A boardroom is unpredictable. A greedy suit in a boardroom will smile in your face while stabbing you in the back."

"I guess the meeting didn't go well?" Ruby said, shaking the snow off her fur-lined cloak and hanging it up to dry.

"It went better than I expected, I'll put it that way. How did the hunt go?"

"Better than I expected too! Turns out, it wasn't an Alpha Grimm the villagers saw, but just a really, really, REALLY big Beowulf. He wasn't too much of a problem once I tracked him down. Cut his head off in one swoop and it was so cool, like, I didn't even feel any resistance from Crescent Rose." Ruby said, attempting to balance one foot as she tried to unlace her combat boots.

"Did they pay well?" Weiss asked. Ruby slid off her left boot and shrugged.

"300 Lien. That will recoup my costs for the dust I spent, plus a little extra."

"I really wish you would just let me cover your expenses," Weiss protested, putting her mug of coffee down on the countertop. Ruby struggled with her right boot, before sliding it off and sighing in relaxation as her feet were finally free.

"I told you, babe, I don't like that. I want to do this on my own and if you're footing the bill for ammo refills and weapon repairs, it's just not the same. I'm married to a Schnee, but that doesn't mean I'm sponsored by one." Ruby protested, unfastening the survival belt around her waist where she kept spare dust ammo rounds and basic survival gear. That too was hung up to dry.

"I know, I know, so you've said a thousand times already," Weiss grumbled. Ruby just smiled and gave Weiss a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I know you care about me and it means a lot to me, it really does. But I wanna do this on my own. My Mom didn't have someone footing the bill, Uncle Qrow didn't have a sponsor and they were all great. I just gotta do this on my own." Ruby said, arching her back. The cold was slowly leaving her muscles, the warmth of the cozy little house they shared helping thaw her out. Weiss had the option of moving into Schnee Manor, but after spending her childhood and young adult life there, the platinum-haired CEO wanted nothing to do with it. Instead, she entrusted it to Klein who acted as a caretaker of sorts.

Seeing that Ruby was in such a cheerful mood gave Weiss the opportunity she needed to spring the question on her. Having grabbed the brochure from her office, Weiss slid her hand into her other pocket and flicked her thumb over the dog-eared corners.

"Hey, Ruby? Before you change into your PJs, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something real quick?" she asked innocently. Ruby froze like she was shot point-blank with ice dust, before slowly backing away after hanging Crescent Rose up on her weapon rack.

"Um, am I-I in trouble?" she asked quietly. Weiss' eyes went wide with shock.

"In trouble?! No! Why in Remnant would you think that?"

"Oh, well, usually when someone says they need to talk, it's almost never anything good."

"No, no, no, everything is fine, Ruby! I just...I wanted to ask you something." Weiss said, mentally cursing herself out for phrasing her inquiry in such a manner. "Maybe we could discuss it in the living room?"

Ruby visibly deflated, the stress flowing out of her after she found out this wasn't an Angry Talk. She managed to take off her snow pants and jacket, now just wearing a spaghetti strap black tank top and thermal yoga pants that kept her skin dry and regulated her body heat in the freezing cold. She plopped down on the large couch, Zwei having moved there at some point. Smelling the familiar scent of his original owner, he slowly lumbered over to Ruby and curled into a ball in her lap, snoring loudly as he slept.

"So what's up, Snowflake?"

"Ruby...have you ever thought about becoming a family?" Weiss asked, a hint of trepidation in her voice.

"But we are a family? I mean, it's me, you and Zwei. That's a family? Plus, there's Yang and Jaune and Blake and Sun. And Nora and Ren when they're not too busy teaching at the Academy." Weiss sighed. This wasn't going to be as easy as she hoped.

"No, I mean, _expanding_ our current family. Ruby, look, I'll just come out and say it...I think we should have a baby."

Ruby had been petting Zwei but stopped suddenly. Her silver eyes seemed to zone out, as if suddenly she had an out of body experience, roaming free in celestial form. What seemed like an eternity passed before Ruby spoke.

"Who, um, would be the Mom? Because I'll be honest with you, I don't want to get pregnant and I don't like the idea of some guy's daddy butter swimming around inside of you."

"Wait, wait, _daddy butter_?" Weiss asked in disbelief.

"You know what I mean..." Ruby said, blushing a profound shade of crimson.

"It's called semen, Ruby. We're adults here."

"UGH! I hate that word. It sounds so...so slimy and gross. Like some kind of goblin who lives in a swamp...Semen the Goblin." Ruby gagged, sticking her tongue out.

"You are so childish sometimes. First, it was panties, now it's semen. Are there any other words I should avoid?" Weiss scoffed, hands on her hips. Ruby shrugged, still blushing. "Good. May I continue?" she asked. Ruby nodded, resuming petting Zwei.

"To answer your question, none of us would be the _biological_ mother. I can't afford to take maternity leave and you would go insane not being to hunt for nine months. No, I was thinking about adoption." Weiss said, handing Ruby the brochure.

"OH!" Ruby said. "That...that's actually not too bad of an idea. I mean, I never really had a Mom growing up, besides Yang. It would be nice to give someone the motherhood I never had..."

"I'm glad you agree," Weiss said, feeling relief wash over her. "If it's okay with you, I want to schedule an interview with the adoption agency next week. No pressure, we don't have to commit to anything. Does that sound good?" Ruby patted Zwei on the butt softly, his cue to get up off her lap. He huffed in frustration, before rolling back into a tight fur ball on the opposite side of the couch.

"I would love to go," Ruby said, hugging Weiss around her neck.

"Oh, I'm so glad! It's a date then." Weiss exhaled, happy that everything worked out. The two lovers sat there in the living room in each other's embrace before Weiss had something on her mind. "Ruby, why do you not like the word 'semen'? Have you ever even seen it in real life?"

Ruby backed away, her jaw dropping and her face pale. She stammered a bit, before shyly glancing down at her bare feet, unable to make eye contact.

"N-No...you're um, the only one I've been ac-active with. What about you?"

"That's...not something I want to talk about," Weiss said, suddenly regretting bringing up the subject.

"Whoa, whoa! You can't drop a question on me like that without answering yourself!" Ruby balked. Now it was Weiss' turn to blush, though unlike Ruby, she confronted the problem head-on, though her cheeks were red enough to stop traffic.

"Yes. At the Beacon Dance, before we left for the night. Neptune and I...in the janitor's closet. We did...did not do _everything_ or go all the way, but at least one of us walked away finished." she said, her face feeling hot enough to fry an egg. Ruby just stared for a moment, the innuendo going over her head. She ran Weiss' words through her brain over and over again, till it suddenly dawned on her with the force of a car wreck.

"AH-HA! I knew that wasn't cream frosting stains on your dress!"


End file.
